Express Yourself

I have found that life is constantly changing, you can never exactly predict the outcome of others choices, for these choices are made, normally, without your knowledge.  A "goodbye" can come without warning, or a "hello".  One word can change the rest of your life, forever.  It's happened to me.  I'm sure if it hasn't happened to you, it will.  So, how did I cope?  I expressed myself.  Why?  I believe that the less you hold inside, the less internal damage will be done.  But I had to learn this the hard way.  That one word, "goodbye", I did not expect.  It took me a long time to learn that expressing myself actually helped heal the pain and to ready myself for the hoped for "hello".  How you express yourself is your own journey to find out.  When you express yourself you understand better exactly how you feel and come to learn how to deal with it.  How did I do it?  Poetry.


A Healing Torture
The wounds too old it should be gone,
my life's becoming an unhappy song;
the same ups and downs are getting old,
the warmth of my heart is growing cold;
You burn my memories and my dreams invade,
to end this pain, my heart, i'd trade;
A new one came but far from mine,
that which I need, but can't, is time;
The shining through is a saving light,
it shines so bright to end my night;

That poem is about pain but eventually of hope of a new light.  This next poem is one that helped me understand exactly how I felt, which I needed to understand to be able to cope and move on.  It's not a "hope" poem but one of understanding the pain.

Crumbling
I drive away but the wall breaks down,
you can almost hear it fall to the ground,
and though, I know, you've already forgotten,
I hid a reminder you use too often.
And though you go on while I stay back,
and of my grief the Devil laughs,
but from the laughter comes the pain,
as, from the Heavens, it starts to rain.
Though the water can smooth the rock,
the constant beating engraves the shock.
And from the words I sent to you,
you tell me that which I should do.
Without the words written I still understand,
without you here I still take your hand.
Before the fall they tried to warn me,
but I rejected the parachute they were offering.
Deceptively bitter, I'm now free falling,
because I chose not to heed the calling.
And though it dulls with the pass of time...
time has no place in the frozen mind.